I'd let myself get my hopes up over the past few days. This being our 4th cycle trying since the last miscarriage, you would have thought I would have gotten over this. Apparently not. So I tested this morning, at 10 dpo, and it was negative. I know, I know, it's still early, I still have a good chance, etc.
But I broke down in the shower later. I can't keep doing this. I can't face yet another super-painful period. I am ready to take a break from all of this TTC and go back on the birth control just to get some relief from the seemingly-constant bleeding. Oh, but that's right, I can't go back on the pill. I'm a clotting risk.
My body can't seem to do anything right.
I know, it's only been 4 cycles. I know have been pregnant twice before. I know just need to give it time.
But I don't know how much more I can put into this process. I feel like I'm in constant pain or discomfort these days. Having a long, super-heavy period every 24 days is not cool at all. Then ovulation pain. Then I feel nauseated during most of my 2wws, until the cramping starts again.
I should call my doctor, at least about the heavy periods, but I mentioned them to the doctor long ago, and he seemed unconcerned. Mr. Rhody thinks I should see an RE. We are at a year now since we started this process, but we haven't had 6 months straight of no pregnancy yet. I have an appointment with a new OB on October 8. The way things have been going, I'll be in anoher 2ww by then. I don't know what to do.
I had a dream last night that some former friends of mine, with whom I was close to when I had my first and second losses, remembered my first EDD and emailed me. Alas, that was just a dream.
Big hug hun. My heart just breaks for you and all that you are having to go through. I will call and RE and see if they will see you. It doesn't hurt to ask!
ReplyDelete((Hugs)) I'm so sorry you're going through this. I honestly think you should see a RE, that was the best move I could have made for myself. My problem was the ohave super long cycles and AF would only last a day or two. Your insurance probably will cover it too. My insurance covers everything but iui and ivf. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteOh hon, I'm sorry about the negative. I think if the periods are that painful then it would be worth at least a call to the dr. It can't hurt. Maybe since they have been ongoing now for awhile that would mean something? ((hugs))
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