7 dpo today, and this week has been flying by. My chart is all sorts of wonky because summer seems to finally be hitting, which means I seem to always be waking up too hot or too cold and before my alarm, making my temperatures unreliable. Today's dip was wholly unexpected, and I hope this chart doesn't start to appear as mountainous as my 4/28/09 chart, which was just crazy.
I haven't been obsessing much this month, but I still have plenty of time for that. I'm planning to test next Tuesday, July 21, with 2 other girls from The Bump. I should be 13 dpo by then, so I should get a clear positive or negative. Also, if I'm going to get my period soon, I should at least start having cramps by then. So here's hoping I can hold out.
So, about that period. My period is supposedly due next Wednesday, July 22, which, coincidentally, is the due date of my first pregnancy. I've been trying hard not to dwell on that. My goal is to focus on what is and to accept that nothing "should" have been any certain way--it is what it is. But still, there's this feeling of sadness that I can't shake; it mostly stems from my loss of innocence surrounding that first pregnancy. I was so positive then. I had such plans. I told myself that my body knew what to do and I should just relax. That first miscarriage had me so blindsided--I don't know if I'll ever be able to let down my guard again, and that makes me a little sad.
No comments:
Post a Comment