I haven't been around much recently, mostly due to the fact that I've been very busy at work. After coming back from vacation, my boss was out the subsequent week, so I had to catch up while covering for him. I've also been put in charge of a high-visibility project, become a mentor to someone else in my department, and have been working with some interns in the department to get things done. Oh, and I'm in the middle of a class right now that takes one day out of every week.
Phew.
However, while I'm going through this maelstrom of work, I'm struck by competing desires. I love being busy at work. I love being the go-to person for things. I really appreciate these high-visibility projects I've been on and I see a clear pathway for me to continue moving up. I'm good at my job, and it gives me a great sense of accomplishment.
On the other hand, I want a child so much right now, and I don't think I can keep moving at this speed once I have a child to care for. I don't know if I'll want to keep this up. When we first adopted our dog, I remember how difficult it was to leave him the first few weeks; I can't even imagine how much harder it would be with my own child.
I keep reminding myself that we will figure this out, things will work out, but on weeks like this, when I am fully and happily buried with work, I can't help but think about how my life will change once we finally do have a child (or 2 or 3 ...).
Right now, it's one thing at a time. If balancing work and family is the largest hurdle in my future, then I will be a happy person.
But that doesn't mean I'll stop thinking about it.
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