Anatomy scan today

So, short version is that Baby Jersey looks good, I think. But the experience was awful.

Long version: Mr. Rhody and I got to the office right at 9 am, the time of my appointment. They didn't take me back until 9:20, at which point they took me back and the technician told me she would be right back to get Mr. Rhody. So she tells me to get on the table, and I say, "OK, can we bring in my husband?" to which she replies, "I'm just going to take a few pictures first and then we'll bring him in." I didn't like this, so, again, I asked, "Can we bring in my husband first?" "I'm just going to do some scans, and then I'll bring him in and show you guys the pictures." "I'd really like him to be here for that. I've gotten bad news at ultrasounds before." "I'll go and get him after I'm done. I'm just going to get pictures of the anatomy now."

I wish so hard that I had gotten up and walked out of the room at this point. Instead, I just laid there while she frowned at the screen I couldn't even see and treated me as a specimen instead of a person. I choked back tears when she asked me if this was my first pregnancy and told her it was, in fact, my 4th and we'd lost the first two. She ignored my comments and chipper-ly asked if I had a boy or a girl. "Boy, but we don't want to know the gender for this one," I choked, even though she hadn't asked.

After 30 minutes of this, she asked me to go to the bathroom to empty my bladder and finally said she would get Mr. Rhody. I asked if she could also get the Office Manager, which took her aback. Apparently she never noticed that I was silently crying on the table while she pretended I was not a human. She came back with Mr. Rhody, asking me what was wrong, offering that she was going to show us pictures now, when I asked again to see the Office Manager. By this point, the tears were streaming down my face. I'm sure she thought I was crazycakes.

Mr. Rhody came in, saw me crying, and had no idea what was going on, followed soon after by the Office Manager. I started by telling her that an u/s should be a diagnostic tool: I wasn't here to just see the baby; all I wanted to know was if the baby was ok. I told her that it wasn't right that I'd asked 3 times to have my husband in the room but was denied. She told me that the technicians preferred to do the scans without talking, so they could get all of the pictures they needed. I told he it wasn't right that I laid there silently for 30 minutes, didn't even get to see my baby yet, had no idea if everything was ok, and did not have the opportunity to even ask questions about my own child. She promised that the technician would walk me through the pictures *now* and I would get extra-special treatment of having the radiologist come in and read the scans then, instead of waiting for a report to be read and mailed to me.

The radiologist really wasn't much better. At first, he asked me about my losses, and I said I'd had 2 missed miscarriages, where I'd gotten bad news at ultrasounds, and he responded, "Well, you know, it's not that uncommon. They say that most women wouldn't even know they were pregnant." Seriously, at 9 and 13 weeks, I would have had a clue that I was pregnant. Thanks, doc. And then he faux-apologized later while looking at the scans with the technician for using "complicated medical terms". I wanted to snottily respond, "Yeah, it's ok. I went to college too."

So the baby looked ok, but I feel terrible that I could not enjoy the scan at all. And I found out they weren't able to get great pictures of the heart, so they want me to come back in 2 weeks (which is something I appreciate finding out now, in person, rather than in a letter a week or so from now). But I don't want to go back. I really don't want to go back. I don't know how this will work with insurance, if I can even go some other place now.

I keep wondering if I've overreacted, but Mr. Rhody assures me that I am not, at the least because 3 requests to have him in the room, even if we had to sit there silently, should not have been ignored.