19 weeks (and 1 day)

19 weeks! Getting there. I'm still not feeling Baby Jersey move as often as I did Baby Rhody, but I know I have an anterior placenta this time, and getting to feel him/her even occasionally is good. I just can't wait for the days when I feel him/her all the time!

I got my maternity clothes out of storage this weekend, and, much to my dismay, barely anything fits. During Baby Rhody's pregnancy, I was a size 10, M/L; now I am a size 6, S/M. I was hoping a lot of mediums would fit, and shirts do, but all but one pair of pants is too big. Bah! I hate spending money on clothes that I will only wear for a few months.

I did schedule a new ultrasound for next week, since I needed a follow up anyway. I am trying to pretend the first did not happen, and it really didn't, for me, because I didn't get to see anything and I still have a ton of questions. You know, I didn't even get to see the baby move? That plus the lack of feeling anything have me a bit worried, though I'm trying to forget about it. I also want to ask about blood flow through the cord and placenta. When they told me they couldn't get all the pictures because baby was too small, it made me think of IUGR, which is a risk of clotting disorders. All this anxiety simply because they didn't want to talk to me.

So I've been in bit of a funk recently. Between the house stuff (waiting to find out if we are going to get the short sale we bid on over 2 months ago or if we can move on) and this ultrasound stuff, I just want to curl up into a ball and make time go faster. I feel like I'm always waiting for something else to happen, and everything is out of my control. I have been having nightmares where I'm being chased around NYC by people that want to kill me. I joke that this is because I watch too much Law & Order, but I know it's really my anxiety coming back out again. I just hope I get resolution on some things soon.