A coworker of mine has a 22-year-old daughter whose life is a mess. She's an alcoholic. She doesn't come home for days. She barely finished high school because of all of her issues. Yet she has two beautiful young children, 3 and 2 years old. These are the kids that she leaves with friends or family, ostensibly for a few hours, before she disappears for days, not answering her cell phone and no one knows where she is.
One of these recent disappearances just ended today. My coworker is sitting there on the phone, trying to convince her daughter to enter rehab, telling her that these two children need her and will otherwise be taken away.
The injustice of it all strikes me over and over. How is it that people who never wanted or are not ready for children can get pregnant so easily, while there are so many people who are ready, have planned their lives for this next step, who cannot have those children that they want?
I am currently reading Moloka'i, the story of a woman growing up in a leper colony on Hawaii around 1900. At one point, the main character, as a small child, asks a nun caring for her "Why does God give children leprosy?" It's a question the nun struggles with, before finally coming to a conclusion that satisfies her. The question is universal, and something I think many people struggle with. Why do bad things happen to people who don't deserve it?
In less philosophical news, the antibiotics I'm on for this suspected infection are knocking me out. Worse than the infection is the feeling of nausea and general grossness. Hopefully, I'll feel better soon. I did get an appointment with a hematologist, next Thursday, to discuss the what the RPL screening came up with. Hopefully, he will be more helpful than the perinatologist quack I saw a few months ago. Finally, a few people have recommened this new OB/gyn group to me. It's not as small as I wanted, but since a few people have recommended it highly, I thought I'd check it out. Their next appointment is for October 8, just for an "interview" to see if I want to switch. We'll see how things go by that point.
I am thinking about cutting back on the baby aspirin this cycle. It's the main difference since I was able to easily get pregnant twice, and now, I have 3 cycles with awful periods for no apparent reason. I'm also concerned about the slow temperature rise I've had after ovulation recently, when I used to have a spike. I have heard some people say that baby asipirin can impede TTC efforts, though I've read other places it can help. Who knows, but I guess I can run my own experiment. I'll start taking it again when I'm sure that I've ovulated.
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