Baby Gear update!

Phew! What a marathon posting week!

Today's post will focus on what Baby Rhody now has to his/her name, to see where we are on baby preparation. We are still trying not to buy too much; even though I don't think there will be a shower, I do still think some people will want to buy us small gifts. However, I did have 2 20% off coupons for Babies R Us, and I didn't want them to go to waste! Also, we picked out our nursery furniture this weekend, which I am very excited about!

First, the furniture. We got all 3 pieces, and I think they will fit perfectly in that room.

This piece shows the detail nicely.

For the 20% off of anything coupon, I spent a lot of time thinking, and decided to get the breast pump--Medela Pump in Style. It's rather expensive, and not really something that people would go crazy to shop for. I got the one with the shoulder bag, since I thought that would be best for going back and forth to work.

Finally, there was a 20% one "gear" item at Babies R Us for Martin Luther King weekend. I thought about this and decided to go for the travel system, since it was one of the most expensive things left on our list and was not cheaper on Amazon. Plus, at least the infant seat is a necessary item for before baby can come home.

Here's the full list of what we have so far. New items are in bold!

• 4 cloth diapers (BumGenius, one-size)
• 4 washclothes
• 2 receiving blankets
• 1 large crocheted blanket
• one 4-foot elephant
• 2 small stuffed animals
• 1 outfit
• breast pump
• travel system
• crib, hutch, and dresser (on order)
• crib mattress (on order)
• changing pad (on order)

I feel much more on top of things than I did just a week ago! I think we made good progress getting things we need this week, though I was joking with Mr. Rhody we're going to have to stop buying things until we get more 20% coupons--maybe for President's Day?

Wednesday nursery update!

I'm still on schedule, with my third update of the week! Today it's time to share what's going on with the nursery.

First, this is what that room, formerly the office, looked like until about a couple of months ago.

It took a LOT of time and effort (and a few trips to the Salvation Army) to rearrange everything to combine our spare room and office. I was surprised at how big the room looked when it was empty! Make sure you check out the awesome light fixture that's in there now.

The biggest issue that we needed to attack in this room were the walls. The previous owners painted with some textured paint that reminded me of stucco! Clearly this is not the sort of wall you'd think of for a nursery where you will have a little one running into walls!

We were going to attack the walls ourselves, but my co-worker convinced me to get a semi-professional plasterer in here to do them. I'm glad we did. In only half a day on Tuesday, all of the "stucco" was smoothed over, and our walls look like new!

Next up, we'll be attacking the moldings and getting the walls prepped for painting. Yay for progress! There is still a lot to do though, but it will keep us busy!

Doula dilemma

Mr. Rhody and I started talking about having a doula pretty early on. After all of the issues that we had trying to get doctors to listen to us after the second miscarriage and clotting diagnosis, the problems we had with the last practice, and my general desire for a natural birth, a doula seemed like a good idea. Mr. Rhody loved the idea because he felt like it let him off of the hook a little; he had someone else to help me through the labor process!

I had asked my midwife for suggestions of doulas she knew and had worked with in the past. She gave me 3 names, 2 of which I found quickly on the DONA website. What was interesting is the two women we interviewed work very closely together, in fact they are back up for each other! There are a lot of similarities between them, but there were also some smaller differences. But first, the similarities:

• Both were approved by our dogs, who are an amazing judge of character ;)
• Both teach childbirth classes at the hospital where I will be delivering, so they are comfortable with the protocols and staff there
• Both couldn't say enough good things about my midwife and the practice where I am now (In fact, both are patients there!); similarly, both had the same reaction to my previous practice, along the lines of, "Oh. They are not very patient-friendly."

Now the differences

• Doula #1 had originally been trained as a CNA and became a doula through that route; Doula #2 is a Reiki practicioner and an herbalist, who became a doula through her former apocathery
• Doula #2 seemed to take a little longer to warm up, but, when she did, there were no issues and we liked her a lot
• Doula #1's fees include 2 more in-person visits--she suggested coming to my appointments with me--birth (obviously), one postpartum visit, and unlimited phone and email support; Doula #2 didn't have a set schedule, but seemed she was always open to whatever we needed
• We talked with both doulas about laboring at home for as long as possible; Doula #1 seemed more talkative about her ideas on how to spend time and when to get to the hospital; Doula #2 was open to the same ideas, but did not have any particular action plan in mind
• We would be Doula #1's first patients since her maternity leave; her son is currently 4 months old
• Doula #1 is almost 20% cheaper than Doula #2

So little reasons, but, because of these, we think we're going with Doula #1. I haven't called her yet because I'm having a bit of fear of commitment, but we will soon! It honestly was a very difficult decision, and I think we'd be happy with either one because they have different strengths. When it came down to it, I said to myself, "Who would I feel more comfortable with, naked and vulnerable, on a purely emotional level?" And that cemented the decision for me. Sometimes, you've just got to go with your gut.

22 weeks!

22 weeks! I switched to a "large" sized maternity shirt and then I realized that I couldn't get enough definition between my boobs and my belly, so I had to start with the hand thing. I'm definitely growing, but still not huge or anything. I'm expecting to start growing faster as I wrap up the second trimester and move into the third.

I am still feeling great. I really don't want the second trimester to end. I still have my energy, appetite, and I'm trying to get as much as possible done before that ends!

Emotionally, I had a bit of a rocky week. Once Christmas and New Year's were over, all of a sudden, it seemed like everyone was talking about baby showers except for the people around me. I should say that my mother started talking about a shower for me around 12w with my first pregnancy, and I told her not to bother when I heard her plans--in NJ (4 hours away) at my brother's and with just family that I never see or talk to anyway. When I told her what I really wanted was just a small thing in RI (you know, where I've lived for 4 years) with just close friends, she scoffed and told me that wasn't right because, "I bought gifts for all of their kids." Between her attitude and all of the drama surrounding my wedding shower (constant updates on my "surprise" shower about how much trouble it was causing her, who wasn't coming, etc.), I told her not to bother. Even though it was sort of my decision (and combined with the fact that my family declined to come for Easter because "it's too far"), I still was getting a bit sad about it this past week, but I think I've worked through it.

I have realized that I am so bad at updating this blog. Part of it is that most of the interesting things happen on weekends, so I end up postponing my updated until Monday. By Monday, I have so much to say that it all gets lost! So starting this week, I'm going to try to have a schedule. Here are the posts I'm commiting to for this coming week!

• Monday - weekly milestones, physical changes, emotional state of mind
• Tuesday - Special topics - this week, Doula update!
• Wednesday - Nursery update - expect weekly pictures
• Thursday - Gear update - this will normally happen on Fridays, but I have an appointment this Friday that will need it's own update!
• Friday - OB medicine appointment update

There's a lot going on, and I want to make sure I'm recording it for future reference.

21 weeks - doula, nursery updates, and diapers!

21 weeks! I have to say, it's getting harder to take pictures. Shirts are getting shorter, and I'm feeling chubby most days instead of round and cute. I'm still feeling great though and quite happy to have made it this far. I love feeling Baby Rhody every day.

I have recently been having a very bittersweet thought; the sort of thought that people might not understand if they haven't been through a loss. I have been thinking that, if we did lose Baby Rhody now, this would be labeled as a stillbirth and not a miscarriage. That would mean to the outside world that this baby would count. I wouldn't have to hear how common miscarriage is or how there was probably something wrong with the baby or whatever stupid things that people say. I know it's a moot point since we will be keeping this baby, but it's good to know that, just in case.

As for the doula update, would you believe that both doulas that we were to visit this week came down sick and had to reschedule? Hopefully, we'll have our meetings this week. We also have our first pediatrician interview this week. Wow.

The nursery is now empty. Well, we still have a few more things to sell, but it's essentially empty. We went to the Salvation Army this weekend and dropped off loads of old books and CDs and other small things. We're getting our 2010 tax deductions out of the way early! The plan for the next few weekends is to start sanding and getting the room ready for painting. Yay for progress!

Also, this weekend, we made a trip out to a local cloth diaper swap, where we picked up 4 one-size cloth diapers. It was really great to see all of the diapers in person that I had just read about. Mr. Rhody was very impressed with them as well, and we left there very excited! So far, our child owns 4 cloth diapers, 4 washclothes, 2 blankets, one 4-foot elephant, 2 small stuffed animals, and one outfit. Hey, it's a start!

And things were going so well ...

At my last midwife appointment, I also received some troublesome news. Everything is fine with me and Baby Rhody, but my midwife gave me some news which brought be back to the anxiety-filled days early in this pregnancy.

My midwife informed me that I was discussed at their last high-risk meeting, and, over her recommendations and the recommendations of my high-risk / OB Medicine specialist, the doctors have determined that I am to be risked out of the alternative birthing center, due to the fact that I am on Lovenox.

Overall, this is not a huge deal. In theory, I can still have an intervention-free birth in a regular hospital room. The rooms, of course, aren't as nice. I will have a hospital bed instead of a queen-sized bed. I won't have my own tub to relax in, but I'll have a shared tub (with a 30-minute limit). But what's important is that I can still have a healthy baby, and there are a million reasons why I could have been risked out.

But what bothers me, what has had me tossing and turning all night, is that these doctors overruled the two caregivers that I've actually spoken to. Not only that, but they started attacking why I'm on the Lovenox anyway, when that's not "necessary" for the prothrombin mutation. What kills me is that I was told I was risked out because I am a bleeding risk; this is laughable because a simple physical exam would show them I am not a bleeding risk. If anything, I am still a clotting risk, which is part of why I want a natural birth. I need to stay up and moving around if I want to have the least risk to myself and the baby.

Irony of ironies, there is an article that just came out in the hemotology journal Blood Coagulation Fibrinolysis that says the prothrombin mutation is much more deleterious than previously thought, and is, in fact, worse than the Factor V Leiden mutation, which is the one that more doctors recognize. But, hey, no one asked me.

So I'm not giving up the fight, but I'm also working on Plan B. When I meet with my high-risk doctor again, I am planning to go over the birth plan with her. Originally, I had wanted to stay on the Lovenox until the end because I don't plan on having an epidural, but my midwife is concerned that if the baby was in distress and I needed an emergency C-section, that would become a problem. So we'll see that the high-risk doctor says.

Also, I've stepped up calling back those doulas. If I already have doctors overruling my primary providers, if I'm going to be put in a position where I'm more likely to have interventions pushed on me, I need someone who knows my situation and can be my advocate. I have one coming over on Friday and one on Sunday. I guess I'd better get started on cleaning the house!

It's never simple, is it? Why can't I be one of those 80-85% of women who get pregnant and have a baby with no complications? I keep hoping they will have this mutation stuff figured out by the time we are ready to TTC #2, but I'm not holding my breath.

Halfway!

Halfway! For the first time, I think I can see a huge difference between this week and last--or maybe that's just all the junk I've been eating over the holidays. Someone told me today that I am "all belly", and I took it as a huge compliment! I am really trying to watch my weight gain since I already started 10-15 lbs up because of the miscarriages.

I have a lot to talk about today, but I'm going to focus on the positives, since, at the beginning of my pregnancy, I promised myself that these weekly mini-milestone posts would be positive.

So, Mr. Rhody and I registered over this past week. That was fun. We went to Babies R Us because I wanted to start the registry in the store--then I went home and changed everything! I liked being able to handle things though to decide what we wanted. Most of the stuff I changed was just to different patterns of the same things.

We had Christmas with my family this past weekend. My mother and my sister-in-law both bought cute baby things, perfectly in keeping with our theme (jungle animals). We got little outfits and washclothes and bibs and stuffed animals, all very cute!

At my appointment last week, my midwife confirmed that everything about the baby was perfect at my anatomy scan. We asked her for pediatrician recommendations, and she gave us a short list. Mr. Rhody then asked his co-worker, who gave us almost the exact same list! At least we have a consensus. :) I need to start calling and setting up appointments. I also emailed 2 doulas last week. The cost is a little steep, but I'm still interested. I need to call them to follow-up so I can choose one.

I announced on Facebook this past week. I originally wasn't going to, but I realized I was very bad at telling people. I can't seem to get the word "pregnant" or "expecting" past my lips--those words are just too loaded to me and remind me of my losses. So, I did something I may have previously maligned. In my defense, I couldn't even seem to type the words, so humor is my armor. What did I do? I posted an ultrasound picture as my profile picture with the comment, "I can never make heads or tails of these things." It felt good it get it out of there.

Pregnancy around 20w is weird. I feel so good these days that I forget I am even pregnant. It will hit me at an odd moment, and I'll be surprised that I've forgotten. Then I'll mentally check to make sure I haven't eaten or done something I shouldn't have, lol. Yup, I'm pretty much insane.